Malaysia Part 2 or The Window That Wouldn't Budge

Our second day in Malaysia began with an underwear trip to the mall. Well, it really began by us very reluctantly dragging ourselves out of perhaps THE most comfortable bed ever, which got easier after we realized we were seeing sunshine for the first time in four months when looking out the window. We promptly headed down to breakfast, where I discoverd the absolute most incredible piece of edible anything that has ever been invented. And that thing, my friends, is kaya pau. )While there seem to multiple names for it, this was the one on the hotel sign.) However, I preferred to refer to them as "heavenly balls of wonderfulness" throughout the entire trip. Oh yes. We´d walk into a grocery store and the first thing out of my mouth would be "look for the heavenly balls!" I got less evil glares than you´d expect in a land where most people speak perfect English.


The breakfast room looked out onto this fabulous pool and gym (a gym which I gladly did not grace with my vacation-mode presence):

But I did leap into the pool at the first chance I got (when M left me for three minutes to get a newspaper). It was as amazing as it looked, though my poor Germanized pale-ass skin couldn´t handle too much sunshine, sadly. So eventually we did make it to the mall (quite luckily for me). Which was next door to our hotel. As in somewhat connected. It had at least three wings that I know of, each with more levels than I could count. And the levels, besides being overrun by neon signs and squealing teenagers, also contained more American chains than I had seen in almost 2 years! Popeye's, Krispy Kreme, Quiksilver, and most importantly Coffee Bean! My California self was happy. And in awe.

Amazingly enough, we managed to navigate our way through this monstrosity they called a mall and, all in a matter of a rushed 20 minutes before we were to be picked up (with M chiding me the whole time for wasting too much time in the pool), came away with new undies, a red shirt for M for Chinese New Year (we were specifically told to wear "happy colors," no blues, blacks, or browns. His wardrobe was not quite ready for that.), German-traveler-style cargo pants for me for hiking in the Highlands (and to protect against leeches! no way I was leeting those little bastards get to me!), and a new SIM card. Which wouldn't be activated for likely two to three days because the boss of the store, apparently the only one who could activate the card, was on vacation for Chinese New Year. As were most store bosses in the mall. We paid our 10 Ringgits and hoped that, at some point, the card would be activated. There's nothing like blind trust.

This friendly parade greeted us in our hotel lobby.

We packed into a not too tiny car that our friend had borrowed from her friend and set out for Kampar, a good 170km north of Kuala Lumpur.

And then the real fun began. We were driving along merrily, M and I in the backseat, AK shotgun and his adorably preggers wife Lee Wah at the wheel, because AK was entirely to slow and not nearly aggressive enough for the terrifyingly renegade Malaysian streets and freeways. About 20 minutes into the drive, Lee Wah rolled down her window briefly, for a reason I now forget. Perhaps to throw something out. Or perhaps just because the kicking "little gentleman" inside her needed some not-so-fresh air. Who knows. Either way, she accidentally rolled M´s window, behind her´s, down to. Which would have been fine...had it rolled back up. But no, ohhhh no. That thing was down to stay. It was down to heckle us. And not for a lack of trying. M tried feverishly with the button and then did the manly thing and tried to physically pull the perpetrating window back up (guess how well that worked?). Lee Wah called her friend, whose car it was, and she recommended to just "keep pushing the button over and over and over. Eventually that will work." For some crazy reason, the Germans and I were skeptical. But she tried. For 45 minutes. Ever hear a button being pushed for 45 minutes straight? Trust me, you don´t want to. So for the next 45 minutes, we were the only car on the freeway in the middle lane being passed on either side by laughing Malaysians, with one window down in the 40º C (104º F) heat and about 1000% humidity. And three crazy-ass white people sitting inside smiling, because that´s what you do on vacation.

Note to self, manual roll-up windows aren´t that illogical or uncool after all...

(Oh yeah, we did get the window up eventually.)

(And it turns out M´s initial suspicion panned out. It was merely a matter of turning the child safety lock off... But don´t tell him that. He enjoys it way too much when he´s right.)

Malaysia Part 1 or How I Celebrated My First Chinese New Year's Eve

Let me just start out by saying, we kind of decided to go to Malaysia on a whim. Sometime last summer, Mr. Fish and I were discussing where we could go on vacation the next year that would be exciting, new, and adventurous. We had regions narrowed down to Asia (my top choice) and South America (his pick). Broad, I know. Though Japan was my top pick, we ruled it out quickly by saying we'd wait to go there until my friends who are living there are settled in and actually invite us, instead of inviting ourselves. We ruled out Thailand too because Mr. Fish hates going to places where everyone he knows has been (Germans LOVE Thailand, in case this is as unbeknownst to you as it once was to me), logic I can't disagree with. Then, I cleverly managed to take South America out of the running by reasoning that, if and when we move to the U.S., it's easier to get to from there. And oh yes, it worked! (Not that I don't want to go there, I've just been dying to go anywhere in Asia since...oh...forever.)

So we were at a loss. And then we were at a party. With his coworkers, one of whom (AK) is married to the sweetest Malaysian girl. And they happened to be planning a trip to her home to host plan a post-wedding (they got married 2 years ago in Germany) celebration for her family. Why don't we join them?, they asked. Then we could celebrate Chinese New Year with her family too! Never one to refuse an offer of travel, I immediately agreed,we decided on dates, and that was that. Malaysia it was.

Fast forward to 6 months later and we're sitting on the EgyptAir (yes, you heard me right, cheap connections from Berlin aren't always the most logical) plane with our newly purchased Malaysia travel books thinking, what the heck can you DO in Malaysia for 2 1/2 weeks? And then thinking, Damn, we should have realized ahead of time that an Islamic country's airline wouldn't serve free booze...

Luckily, the first 3 days were already planned for us. So my reliable companion, procrastination, was allowed to stick around for a little bit longer. After 20 hours in transit including a stop at the Cairo airport Burger King, where AK had a triple Whopper (ewww is right) as the third of five meals, an accidental trip to the prayer room that I mistook for the Ladies' room (the women were not pleased, I was just wondering why the sinks in the bathroom were so freakin low--apparently they're for washing your feet!--and the little old men sitting outside were most definitely entertained and laughed their asses off at me before pointing me in the right direction), and a not-so-pleasant stench on the plane after everyone woke up and started stretching, we arrived in Kuala Lumpur (or KL, as all the cool kids say). There we were greeted not only by a wall of stifling, boiling hot humidity upon leaving the train station, but also by AK's peppy Malaysian wife (she had arrived a month earlier for extra family time). I've never been so happy to give up control of planning for the start of a trip. She had booked us a hotel for the first night but since it was Chinese New Year's Eve, everything was booked out. So we had to stay in a fancy schmancy expensive hotel, for which she deeply apologized. It cost a whopping total of 305 Ringgit. Which is 60€ for two people, including breakfast. We told her not to worry in the least and were overjoyed that our trip was off to a luxurious start.

That night we went out to dinner with both of them and her mom. Her aunt had arranged for us to go out to dinner that night at a restaurant that a friend of her's owned because, again, everything was booked out. We had the typical meal that is served for the "Reunion" dinner on New Year's Eve. Since I can't describe the awesome deliciousness of this meal in words, I will just have to do so in pictures.

This is the traditional "reunion dinner" starter. Lots of colorful fried noodles, carrot, pickle, some other vegetable strips, and lachs. Then the waitress pours all sorts of stuff on top, among others ginger, cinnamon, sesame seeds, chips, and soy sauce (I think)! Everyone at the table then has to grab their chopsticks and raise them as high as possible, then let everything drop back down, and continue to do so until it's mixed. A là:

Whoever reaches the highest wins!

And this dish was even 10 times better than it looked!

There were at least 3 more courses to follow. We set the camera down and dug in from this point on!

There was also fresh squeezed and not-too-sweetened lime juice (delish!), as well as a dessert that I can no longer remember. There was just so much food! And man, were we suffering from a crazy mix of jetlag and culture shock. Not to mention a case of crap!-we-have-to-get-up-early-enough-to-buy-me-some-new-undies-in-the-morning gigles. So after a few hours of honing our chopstick skills and basking in the neon lights and plastic furniture of the restaurant (more on that in a future post!), we took our full bellies back to our fancy hotel and crashed. Ahhhh, to sleep in a bed again...

So that, my friends, was how I spent my first Chinese New Year's Eve.

And here is a preview of what's to come!

The Bird

On a side note that has nothing to do with Malaysia adventures...on our way to go see Up in the Air a couple nights ago, my Mr. Fish and I got sidetracked. We were planning on going to go eat something quick before heading to the movie and he suggested The Bird. Some of my fellow ex-pat coworkers had been telling me to go to this place for a while because it has undisputed "the best burgers in Berlin!" (I can't say that there's much competition though. Except of course Burgermeister, but that's for another day.) A few months ago, Mr. Fish had the nerve to go there WITHOUT me and so he too, raved on and on to me about their burgers. But every time we had tried to go to The Bird together (it's walking distance from our place), it was packed so full of beer-guzzling Americans and meat-loving Germans that we never managed to get a seat. 

Finally, this week, we were successful. We gladly sat at the bar when all the tables were full and happily ordered large (German, not American, you get the best of both worlds here!) beers from the overly-friendly-for-German-restaurant-standards Irish bartender. Quick, friendly service? In Germany?! I felt instantly jolly and at home. Just stepping into that place transported me back to the States and due to some strange subconscious American-induced brain click, Mr. Fish and I simultaneously switched to English for the course of the evening. (German is our usual language of choice.) It was fantastic in there. The cheesy, but not really cheesy regalia, the vegetarian's-nightmare drawings of cows saying "Eat me!", the all English menu with burgers such as "The Filthy Harry" (bacon + cheddar--Mr. Fish's choice) , "The Ghetto Burger" (plain), the "Ghetto De Luxe" (with American cheese!)  and, my all-time favorite,  "The Fat Stingy Gonzales***" (sour cream, avocado, and hot sauce). I didn't try this one yet, but am determined to in the summer. Here's why:

"*** Note re the Fat Stingy Gonzales burger. It is very difficult to find perfect avocados and chilis here in Berlin, where up until 19 years ago there weren't even bananas. Instead of making shitty guacamole with bad avocados, we sometimes choose to have no Gonzales. We are sorry, we don't like it either."

Those three asterisks absolutely made my evening and gave the guacamole-loving California girl in me a warm, fuzzy feeling. I can guarantee that I will be going back there. And often. Preferably with all my visitors from home too. My hips will not thank me. And neither will my vegetarian sister. But that menu...oh it sings to me...

(And in case you were wondering, no, we did not make it out of there in time to see Up in the Air, unfortunately. But we did manage to let the bartender's dreamy accent talk us into two more beers each and even came very close to finishing our giant mountains of homemade crispy, various-sized fries. Complete with an unlimited supply of ketchup, a rarity when dining in Germany. 

And to sign off, I will leave you with this smile-inducing tidbit from the front page of their menu:

"At least TRY eating the damn burger with your hands. All you uptight people with your forks and your knives are driving us crazy.
And for God's sake don't order your meat well done."

Blog, revived

It's time for a revamp and a restart! And what better time, because I just got back from Malaysia--well, last week, but my brain is still in the tropics--and have lots of fun to share.

Let me start out by saying, if there is one thing this trip taught me it's this: pack your underwear first. Otherwise, you'll end up with just two pairs for two weeks, and then find yourself having to shop for new ones on your first day in a crazy new land, in a twenty minute time span between buffet breakfast time, oh-my-god-I-see-the-sun-and-need-to-jump-in-the-pool-now time, and the time when your friends are supposed to pick you up to drive to a wee village that likely will not have a shopping mall with suitable underoos. And furthermore, if you actually remember to pack your undies, unlike me, you won't have to face the humiliation of being told by a miniature Asian salesgirl that, well, your butt is probably an L and not an M here, because sizes run a lot smaller in Malaysia...Let me just say, that was not the confidence booster I needed on my first day in a land where I already felt like an Amazon woman. A jetlagged, sweaty, pale Amazon woman.

The first details about the trip will come shortly (unfortunately my office job is beckoning my brain back at the moment...). With pictures. Ohhhh yes with pictures, I have over a thousand to sort through so don't be worried about a shortage in that department!